Families are complex organisms. As Tolstoy stated in Anna Karenina “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” And unhappy in its own way usually brings an excellent story, although today I will not be delving into Tolstoy.
This week I read Family and Other Catastrophes by Alexandra Borowitz. An anxiety-ridden daughter, Emily, flies from San Francisco to New York’s suburbs for their wedding weekend. Her fiancé’s family is not far from her own, making it the right decision for them. Over the course of the week, Emily is forced to endure “family therapy” administered by her mother the psychologist to address “lack of gratitude the siblings have for their parents.” Brother Jason, a newly divorced playboy has returned to his childhood home, and sister Lauren, the militant feminist, political correct sister with her son Ariel and partner Matt are also residing there. These two siblings agree, because the parents have taken them in. Emily agrees to simply keep the peace.
Throughout the novel’s interior/exterior conversations, as the protagonist changes with each chapter, you not only see the truth in each person’s real existence, but they start to view themselves though a looking glass instead of a funhouse mirror. Each person, starting with Emily’s mother’s passive aggressive need to be at the center of attention, Lauren breastfeeding her 3 year old son, keeping him co-sleep with his parents as a means of avoiding intimate contact between her and Matt, Jason’s on the make lines that go nowhere.
Please note, however, that David’s family is not left out on the dysfunction. With a stepmother that is very pleasant, but not all there, and a father that is distant, David is in no way like his brother, Nathan, who lives in his father’s basement playing video games, stalking women while believing to be “protecting” them with his chivalry. Add to it the stress of trying to be the next big something in tech, organizing a wedding, and the stress levels keep elevating.
Sounds a bit like most families – right? Maybe not the specifics of who does what, but the stress of expectations, eagerness to please, and fear of what might be are universal. What family isn’t going through a bit of growing pains now that the school year has finished? Kids are moving up a grade and expect huge changes in their world because of this. Even though they are still the same age as they were the day before. We all need to keep our heads on, remember the big picture and treat each other with kindness and acceptance.
One by one, we all come to terms with who we are at the core. Jason makes peace with his ex-wife Christina; Lauren admits to Matt she doesn’t love him; Matt leaves when the answer was not what he wanted, and Nathan finally finds a friend. And at the core, a family that tries to protect each other, even when not liking each other too much. Emily, viewed as the broken one has found David. He finds her broken in places that he understands, and she is able to help him with his wounds. Together they confront the fears and move forward.
Like a real family, it is messy and can be cruel, but in the end, they show who they really are and pull through like you never expected.
The Source 4 Books 