Tag: discussions

What is a book group?  Is it a place where people come carrying the book reverently to make sage pronouncements on someone else’s story? Dissect it with the skill of a surgeon, laying the structure and content out for all to examine in a slightly different way.  Or is it a group of people who come with bottles of wine, heaps of food, and, if remembered at all, a well-worn book?  Is it none of the above? Or all of the above?  For me, the answer is all of the above.  Each grouping of people bring different experiences, expectations and egos to the room.  The key is knowing your audience, and yourself.

When I was young, I discovered that I loved sharing my ideas about books I had read with others.  Part of this love, however, was that I was showing off my ability to see the depth of the books, parse the content and dissect the structure. I joined a group that met at a bar (The Colorado Library if you can believe – on the East Coast!!) and read The Bend in the River, The Remains of the Day and Palace Walk.  We were cosmopolitan and globally minded and our reading reflected this view of ourselves.

I then began leading a book group for a volunteer organization to help a community center in the city build a library for their neighborhood.  How perfect – mixing my love of learning with a group of people that were working to make life better for others.  We chose provocative titles, biographies, memoirs and novels, opening me up to new writers.  A Long Walk To Freedom by Nelson Mandela, Caucasia by Danzy Senna, and The color of water by James McBride.  I had grown to expand my reading and what I defined as my community.

After a few years, that group disbanded (the library opened), and I took a break to have kids and read Sandra Boynton, E.B. White and JK Rowling.  Once I finished the Harry Potter series aloud, I was ready again for a book group.  I began leading a group of women that focused on Jewish topics – past, present, and future.  I approached this as I did the last one, but it never fully realized that scholarly tone I had thought was needed, because I had grown to realize it was not needed to convey my messages.  Each discussion began about the book, and evolved to other things, like politics.  I was actually fascinated to learn that a nuclear scientist in the group thought the Iran Nuclear Deal was a good one, and cited scientific facts for why.  And I am so very glad that I started this group with a bottle of wine, macarons, and an assortment of petit fours to match The Paris Architect by Charles Balfoure.  That caught on, and we had a ball.

Fast forward a few year, and at a social event I became re-acquainted with someone who was involved with the Goodreads community.  I joined up, and have been having fun with that, too.  I am now invited to a real life group that will be reading a heavier book, The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne, and I am excited to meet and talk to smart people.

And one night I was on my friend’s porch with a group of friend.  I looked around and I saw a group of incredible women that were all pursuing life with passion and wanted to make connections with others.  That night I decided that I would launch my own group – which still needs to be named – where we would pick deliberately lighter books and use the time together to “discuss the book” – heavy on the “” -and make our own community.  And so, this past week I gathered friends from different places in my life, opened a bottle of wine, put out cupcakes, and let the conversation flow. And while we didn’t do the book any justice with an examination, we had a great time.  And agreed that the next meeting will be at an ice cream parlor.

So when you are invited to a book group, don’t always feel that you need to have read a book completely and are ready to analyze it from stem to stern.  Sometimes it’s okay to just use that time to be together.  And just like choosing who you play golf with – make sure you have the right group to make sure it meets your needs.  Because sometimes, it’s just good to pick up the ball and walk to the next hole while enjoying your friends.