books, read around the world, reading

The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid

This story is slow to build, but compelling. At the outset we are approached by a man asking if we need assistance – but to be assured that while he is not from America, he is a lover of it. The speaker, Changez, begins to tell his story to a foreigner at a café in Pakistan. A student at Princeton, he was able to crack into the American dream, graduated at the top of the class and earned a job at the coveted Underwood Samsom valuation firm on Wall Street. He meets and falls in love with Erica, who is still in love with her dead boyfriend, Chris. The warmth she shows him at first, and her pointing out his politeness and conforming to American ways gives way to her turning her back on him and disappearing. Easy to see that Erica represents America. We appreciate those that come to our shores as long as they are polite and conform to our ways. When 9/11 happened there was a shift in Changez’s view – it was exhilarating that somehow America was brought to its knees at home while they continue to create chaos elsewhere in the world – Erica became overcome with her need to recreate the past. Just as America was trying to recreate the indignation after Pearl Harbor.

As Changez continues to share the story, we learn more of his true feelings of being an outsider, of his self-hatred of turning his back on his people. The person hearing the story has shown himself to be cautious, and suspect of Changez. As the story closes, you are left with the question – how has the arrogance of America impacted Changez and how far has he gone to avenge his country? Is America being duped or are we being overreactive?

books, reading

Twice a Quinceañera by Yamile Saied Méndez

One month before her wedding, Nadia Palacio decides to stand up to her fiancé, whom she had been with for over 10 years, five of them engaged, and call off the wedding. With her family coming to Utah from all over the world, and the wedding date scheduled for the day before she turns 30, she decides to celebrate herself. She has always been an achiever, always working to please her family, being the first to graduate college and the first to be a lawyer. How had she let everyone, especially Brandon Lewis, take away her belief in herself?

So why not use the wedding venue to celebrate herself? She never had a Quinceanera – why not a double one? The money is non-refundable anyway. But when she goes to discuss this change with the venue, she finds herself face to face with her passionate fling in college – known only to her as Rocket.

Marco, who had returned home from wandering the world over the last ten years, had been haunted by the memory of that incredible time with Nani. He fled college to keep her from being held back by him – his family always said he broke everything he touched. And now, he is face to face with her – and finally knows her real name!

Through alternating points of view of the two main characters we learn how to accept yourself for who you are, unapologetically, and to forgive yourself for making mistakes. And if you are open to being honest with who you are to yourself, you will be more able to be open to sharing that with someone else.

books, reading

The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han

Each summer of her life Belly, her mom Laurel and brother Steven go to Susanne’s house on Cousins Beach to spend the summer with her and her sons Conrad and Jerimiah. Laurel and Susanne have been friends forever. The children are brought up as one family in the summers. Belly, the youngest and only girl, from the beginning just wants to fit in. As she hits her tween and teen years, we are given glimpses into each summer in random order. You see shifting attitudes as the children grow and hormones rage. You also see how divorce can change some dynamics, as well as illness.

In this sweet coming of age story, you see all the normal anxieties of teens – especially of teen girls – on how to navigate friendships, body changes, and newfound love. Touching, even if a bit predictable, this is well worth the read.

books, reading

Ali and Nino by Kurban Said

Written in 1937, and originally published in German, the author is thought to be Lev Nussimbaum, a Jewish writer that used the pseudonyms of Essad Bey and Kurban Said. Born a Jew, he converted to the Muslim religion. Before the true author’s name was unknown, the Nazi regime included his works on the list of “excellent books for German minds”.

The story is set in the early 20th century on the cusp of the Great War in Baku, Azerbaijan. There we meet a schoolboy – Ali Khan Shirvanshir. We learn of his ancestors – great warriors of high esteem and standing in the community for centuries. He is Asian at his core – a man of the desert, just like his ancestors. He is also Mohammeded (Muslim). We learn of the many tales, songs and verses created in honor of his ancestors and homeland.

Baku, newly rich with oil resources, has been a source of Western interest. Most recently conquered by Russia, the Western world has come to encroach its ways on this Asian country. Ali is enrolled in a Russian school, which tries to impart the Western ways on the future generations. The home culture remains strong, however, with teachers still in fear of real life retribution from the long established families.

With the Russians came the Georgian aristocracy. Christian in faith, Western in manner, they believe the natives of the country are barbarian – with blood feuds, eating with fingers, and drinking. Nino Kipiani, a princess of this world, is the love of Ali’s life. From the beginning, Ali Khan is torn by his love of the woman and her Western sensibilities. He loves to look at her, and touch her, but that would never be allowed for Muslim girls. Nino, for her part, is a strong believer in her Christian Orthodox religion, enjoying the approving looks of all men, and refusing to hide under a veil. These two opposing views of the world, while at conflict with each other, are part of the reason they love each other.

Throughout the story we learn of Muslim ideology, deep rooted differences in customs of Shiite, Sunni, Turk, Armenian, Georgian and Persian beliefs. These two lovers overcome the weight of ancient customs and the expectations of the “modern” western world to be married.

Both are torn by the love they have of each other, and the weight of their history and expectations of life. We learn here – and must remember that this was written almost 100 years ago now – that the East and the West view the world differently and judge each other in different ways. Until the West and East sensibilities understand and appreciate the differences, there will be no understanding that the ancient rules of civility that were created by the ancestors will always be a part of who the people are.  Expecting something different without that historical context or understanding is at the West’s peril. The same is true of the West, also, who must remember that their way is not the only way.

As for the marriage of Ali and Nino, there are times when it seems they have found a place to live together, but that is only true when they are alone together. The expectations of others breaks the peace they found.

Is there any way that a man of the East can come to terms with the sensibilities of the West? Or can a woman of the West agree to the terms of the East? With the unrest we are seeing around the world, is the moral to the story that we can learn to love each other, but we can not learn to live in peace together?   

books, reading

Tom Lake by Ann Patchett

If you don’t know Thornton Wilder’s play Our Town, you are in for a crash course. The theme of this play is also the theme of this book, even if it is shown in a round about way. This is told in three acts.

The Play’s Act One focuses on Daily Life. You meet the townsfolk, learn of the gossip around Simon Stimson, the town alcoholic. The day closes with you seeing two main characters – George and Emily – on the cusp on growing up. In Tom Lake you meet Lara, her daughters and her husband. You learn the everyday trials they all go through and how they end up together during the pandemic.

The Play’s Act Two focuses on Love and Marriage – the preparation for George and Emily’s marriage. Both say they are not ready, but George pledges to stay home to take over his uncle’s farm and Emily accepts her place to be his wife. Tom Lake shows you the complicated lives of Lara and her fellow community at a regional theater named Tom Lake. You see what people yearn for, how they want things to be, and how they interact. You even meet the town’s drunk.

Act Three is nine years later, we witness Emily’s funeral, having died in childbirth. She goes back to witness her 12th birthday and realizes you never pay attention to the things that matter when you are doing them. The question of whether anyone truly values the life they live while they are living it is asked, and answered, no. Tom Lake shows the choices made to make things change, how they create a type of death of the starlet that was Lara, but the birth of the woman Lara was meant to become. You see her choosing to make things be a certain way, staying at Joe’s uncle’s farm, choosing to live the life he offered her.

The similarities of Lara’s story to the play are compelling. Set at the time of the pandemic, Joe and Lara’s grown children return to their cherry farm in Traverse City Michigan to be together. Three daughters – Emily, the oldest is the most capable and willing to stay on the farm; Maisey is in veterinary school, looking to help others whenever she can; and Nell is pursuing acting full time in New York. Lara had been an actress, and had known a famous actor – Peter Duke – whom Emily was sure was her father. During this time together the three daughters finally prevail on Lara to tell them her story. Even the three daughters line up with the three acts of the play – the youngest pursuing a lofty future, the middle content to make everyone comfortable, and the oldest knowing her role in the play.

Without too many spoilers, the story unfolds in similar fashion to that of the play – straining for a future; wanting it all; and understanding what is at stake. For both, the need to understand the value of the life you live is the key. While the play ends in three acts, the book shows that Lara learned the lesson of the play and looked to ensure the life she lived was real and what she wanted. She never regretted anything, and felt that she had lived understanding the true lessons. Her life was the one that Emily wanted, but didn’t get. While the play leaves you sobbing, this leaves you a bit melancholy for what can so easily be lost, but also hopeful that the play will continue on with future generations in their own ways.

books, reading

The Invisible Hour by Alice Hoffman

Another engaging story on the strength of women and their need for self-determination.

First we meet Mia, walking away from all she knows and then we are sent to an other time, much earlier. We meet Ivy, who helps drive the story, even when it is not really about her. Mia takes over the story again, and we follow until there is another time shift. While these shifts are confusing and not at all realistic, they are mystical.

Ivy, a wild child of a rich Boston family, gets pregnant and is slapped when she asks her father for help. She leaves that night, since she has no hope of help from the father of the child, or choices to make over her own body. She joins The Community, a cult with a charismatic leader with a need to rule with an iron fist, only finding his lies after the marriage.  

Mia needs more than The Community can provide her. Through the intervention of her mother, Ivy, she discovers the world of books – something forbidden in The Community. Through these books she finds redemption.

That redemption for me goes a bit wonky when she falls through time to meet Nathaniel Hawthorn, the man who’s book she finds herself in and discovers her own strength. An overriding theme here is that no one saves you but yourself. And that is what ultimately happens.

Well written, enjoyable, but not my favorite of this author’s.

books, reading

Today a woman went mad in the Supermarket by Hilma Wolitzer

This is a collection of essays that were written for magazines from late 1960s through the COVID pandemic. Each is a raw glimpse into a life that is extraordinary because of its ordinariness. 

The first story finds a young pregnant woman full of hope and expectations of the next chapter of her life encountering a distraught and overwhelmed mother with two small children blocking her aisle at the supermarket. As the pregnant woman tries to help, she sees through the terror of the mother the stark reality of being overwhelmed by children and how hard and lonely motherhood is. The expectant mother leaves far less sure of herself and the assumptions she made about what life would be after the baby is born.

The additional stories cover other areas of facing reality that was unexpected and now needed to be endured. The stories are told in monotone – underscoring the numbness at the center character of each story as they move through the motions of living. Each story covers a different time in the life of the seemingly same person – even if not explicitly stated. The sameness of this, to me, makes this universal for all people to live through these experiences.

The last story, a heartbreaking reality for so many during the COVID pandemic, brings the collection to a close with the reality that life is fragile, and no matter how much you try, our end is lonely and final.

Well written, full of raw emotion, this is an indictment of the assumptions we make of what life should be versus what life really is.

book-review, books, essays, humor, memoir, reading

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

As I listened to this book in my car, I was awed by the insight that was being shared. So much of her story resonated with my experiences in life. I was 25% of the way through the library download when I deliberately turned my car around and went to buy my own copy of this book to have the ability to go through each essay as I need in my life.

Glennon Doyle was a woman that spoke of good Christian roles and beliefs. After enduring years of pain, self hatred and destruction she finally found herself by letting go of conventions that were forced upon her by society that she had internalized. Regardless of how someone feels about the LGBTQ+ community, Glennon brings raw honesty of questioning everything, especially your own beliefs, to make sure you are true to yourself.

Though she has been excommunicated from her former religion for marrying a woman, Glennon is living a kind and generous life that she believes that everyone should live. Her essay on helping someone in need “right now” and then seeking to fix the issue at the source was inspiring. Her drive to help others, to hear others, and to share her truest self is a lesson in bravery and heroism. She has opened her life to others without fear of what the constructed society she lives in says.

I believe I will be returning to this book at times when I need strength.

books, reading

The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride

James McBride has impeccable timing, befitting an accomplished jazz musician. His latest book, The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store, is just like a jazz composition. Each story within it has its own pace, its own focal point, and its own heart, but the soul of all is the same, just like a great improve jazz session. 

You begin with the police asking questions about bones found in a well on Chicken Hill, the poor section of Pottsville, Pennsylvania where Jews and African Americans live together in a marginalized neighborhood. You meet Moshe, a Romanian immigrant and Chona, born in America but marked with a limp from polio. You hear the story of building a dance hall, initially for the Jews of the town, but the expansion of this to provide entertainment for the African Americans also. You meet Nat, Moshe’s right hand with a history of his own, and his wife Addie. You meet their nephew Dodo, who lost both his hearing and his mother because their oven exploded. You meet Big Soap, an Italian immigrant, Fatty, Paper, Bernice, who all grew up in Pottsville, and you hear all their stories. And through this is the friendship of “the best dancer in the world” who was the only Jew left on Chicken Hill when the police came to ask those questions – like the fiddler on the roof.

While each of these stories seems to be separate, all the players you meet are put together for the ultimate coda. Despite the hardships you face because of where you are born, who your family is, your skins color or your religion, your humanity and compassion for others is what will keep life moving forward toward a happy and fulfilling future.  

books, reading

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Losing a parent is not easy. The things we cling to that help us keep their memories alive are all different – and different places are specific to these memories too.

This memoir is a review of that pain, and the history of the relationship between a Korean mother and a half Korean American child, Michelle Zauner. This identity was something that needed to be explored as a way to honor her mother’s homeland and her mother. As is so often true, we can find part of our heritage in the foods that are served, and the complicated relationship of what the foods represents.

Michelle is able to come to Eugene, Oregon to help take care of her mother after she is diagnosed with cancer. As Michelle tries to make up for being a “difficult” child, the roles are reversed of caregiver. Michelle begins to see that the foods served to her, the goals set for her, and the items sent to her were all rooted in a fierce love. As Michelle continues to work through the pain that will last as long as she lives, this is an open and honest step toward healing.