book-review, books, essays, humor, memoir, reading

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

As I listened to this book in my car, I was awed by the insight that was being shared. So much of her story resonated with my experiences in life. I was 25% of the way through the library download when I deliberately turned my car around and went to buy my own copy of this book to have the ability to go through each essay as I need in my life.

Glennon Doyle was a woman that spoke of good Christian roles and beliefs. After enduring years of pain, self hatred and destruction she finally found herself by letting go of conventions that were forced upon her by society that she had internalized. Regardless of how someone feels about the LGBTQ+ community, Glennon brings raw honesty of questioning everything, especially your own beliefs, to make sure you are true to yourself.

Though she has been excommunicated from her former religion for marrying a woman, Glennon is living a kind and generous life that she believes that everyone should live. Her essay on helping someone in need “right now” and then seeking to fix the issue at the source was inspiring. Her drive to help others, to hear others, and to share her truest self is a lesson in bravery and heroism. She has opened her life to others without fear of what the constructed society she lives in says.

I believe I will be returning to this book at times when I need strength.

book-review, books, Family Drama, literature, reading

The Messy Lives of Book People by Phaedra Patrick

The premise of this book is a bit of a stretch, but somehow it works. Olivia (Liv) Green is a 42 year old wife and mother that works as a cleaner. Her sons are almost grown, with one at University and the other getting ready to head off also. Her husband is constantly being summoned by his sister to talk about their family’s business, which he won’t discuss with Liv.

We see Liv at her jobs – one as a commercial cleaner being left to pick up after people that look through her, one where the parents expect her to care for their kids as well as cleaning for the same cost, and one with her favorite author of all time.

On a Friday she wishes the reclusive author, Essie Starling, a pleasant weekend, only to be informed the following week by a solicitor that Essie is dead and left instructions for Liv to finish her last book and that she can’t tell anyone for 6 months that Essie is dead. As Liv takes on the task, she finds self confidence to stand up for herself against everyone that underestimated her abilities – including herself.

As she works to complete the book in a faithful way for the character – her favorite – to complete the 20th and final book of the series, she digs deep into Essie’s past for inspiration. What she finds shakes her to the core, but also provides her strength to create a new path for herself.   

book-review, books, mystery, read around the world, reading

Smaller and Smaller Circles by F.H. Batacan

This is a murder mystery in the poorest of neighborhoods of Quezon City. With officials stretched with limited resources and hamstrung by apathy and politics that surround a post-Marcos regime in the Philippines, there appears to be a serial killer preying on young boys. Two Jesuit priests, Father Gus Saenz, a forensic anthropologist and his colleague/friend Father Jerome Lucero, a psychologist, are brought in by the Director of the National Bureau of Investigations (NBI) to help solve the case.

Throughout the story the prominence of both the Catholic Church and the government are highlighted – in both positive and negative light. The Priests have been fighting the church to bring to light allegations of abuse for a Cardinal, who simply gets re-assigned, exposing others to his power. Additionally, they are working with people in the NBI that are more concerned with getting credit for solving a crime than for actually finding the real killer. In both ways, Fathers Gus and Jerome are working to protect the young and vulnerable that have no power or voice.

This theme – the need to protect those that are the most vulnerable – is evident in all they do. As the mystery of the murders becomes clearer, the pain of the truth they uncover is heartbreaking.

This is truly a study of the need to have transparency for those in power, and an indictment of what “society” deems as truly important. I want to read more of this crime solving duo.

Black Experience, book-review, books, literature, reading

The Love Songs of W.E.B. DuBois by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers

If there was ever a book that you should read to learn of how other’s lives have been lived, this is it. This epic tale – but you are never sure exactly who the hero is. You are introduced to many individuals, all who sing a different song. None of the songs are named, but each time you see a new title page with SONG, you know the speaker has changed. It is through all these voices that moves this story along, even if not linearly. You are introduced to many people, at different times in history, in different orders. None of this makes sense until you are almost at the end. You are faced with information on the many terrible things that humans are capable of, even those that are supposed to love and protect you.  


We are introduced to the Creek Indians, those that inhabited the land. White men from Europe come and took away their land as if they had never been there. They brought slaves to do their work. And through their arrogance and ego, they abused these men and women. They sowed not only the seeds of cotton and tobacco, but also of themselves. Mixed races are common, but never acknowledged by the white men that made them.

This history of a people is complex and confusing. The book reflects this in the intertwined stories of sisters, generations, family, tragedies, and fears. Throughout the book, however, Uncle Root, an educated Black man with a doctorate in History, understands that the history of the family comes from the women. He extolls the strength of Black women especially, because the burdens they have carried is so heavy.

I can never imagine having lived this history and surviving it. The brutality and ongoing ramifications are horrifying. The truth of these pains and these slights are not shied away from to make it easier for someone else to read it. The racism that still exists within the hallowed halls of education and throughout the country is astounding. I am humbled that I have probably erred without knowing or understanding, and I hope that I will not make the same mistakes again.

This book challenges you. You need to understand that we are the sum of our ancestors, as well as our times. While this book is well over 750 pages, I never once wanted to skim a page, because I was so involved in the number of people we are introduced to. I felt the pain of loss, the pain of betrayal, and the pain of self-doubt. This was worth every single page – and there is not a word I would keep out to make it shorter. We need to do the work to understand what these families have endured, and continue to endure. Until we face it and learn, things will not change.

book-review, books, memoir, Non-Fiction, read around the world, reading

Visiting Oceania with J Maarten Troost

J Maarten Troost is a travel writer that has lived an extraordinary life. First, he follows his girlfriend to the Equatorian Atoll of Kiribati for two years, returned to Washington DC, only to get restless again. He then follows his wife (same person) to the Islands of Fiji and Vanuatu. Through both of his books, The Sex Lives of Cannibals and Getting Stoned with Savages, the raw truth, and the raw sewage, is exposed while living on the other end of the earth. While never taking himself quite seriously, these books impart both the absurdity of island life and some well researched facts on the areas he visits. You actually hear of the colonial history, the remains of this including racial hatred, as well as details of the Neckowiar of Tanna (a rare three-day alliance ceremony between villages) they witnessed, including details of the leaf men wear over their penis for a full day of dance. You learn about the tribal history of the people of Vanuatu, the colonial history of invasion, cannibalism, how to make kava, and how centipedes there can kill. Through it all, you learn of the differences in the cultures of other, how the customs came about, and how it may seem like paradise, but don’t look too closely to see the cracks. These were two fun reads.

book-review, books, Holocaust, literature, reading

All the broken places

Guilt and complicity. What you have done and what you have not done. Both are things that can torment people. I had heard John Boyne speak about his book All the Broken Pieces , and was intrigued by the idea of what you are complicit of allowing versus what you have committed – and how the sins of the parent are cast on the child. All these ideas led me to buy this book.

I admit, I never read the first book, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.  I also admit I had no idea of the backlash – that the book was considered controversial in its way of conveying the atrocities

The story is simplistic, while trying to deal with complex issues. Gretel grew up faithful to the Third Reich, proud of the part her family played in it, including her father’s role as commander of Auschwitz. As Gretel’s mother states, it was the Jewish problem – first the problems they made for Germans that forced the need for extermination, and then for the problems they wouldn’t stop talking about after the camps were closed – that were a disgrace. Gretel, however, understood the terrible things her father had led. She knew her place in allowing this to happen, even as she hid behind “I was only a child” excuses.  This was underscored in the book by others excuses – they were only following orders or they didn’t know anything about it. Being forced to see the horrors by the French Underground, other Nazi hiders, documentary films and camp survivors, Gretel understood she would live with guilt for the rest of her life. She kept her true self away from others. She tried to atone for the sins she knew, in the only way she knew how.

As the parts of history are unraveled, and the new realities of cruelty she faced within her own building, Gretel finally takes action – to not be one that stands by doing nothing, fulfilling her destiny as she and others had hoped it would be. It is, however, a destiny that is rooted in violence – acting on the brutality of her father’s answers for solving a “problem.”   

I felt this was an interesting read. I am glad I have taken my time to read this. With so much hatred in the world, in the US particularly, understanding the need to stand up and speak out is just as important as jumping into the fight directly.  While I understand that it only glimpses at the true horrors that were experienced by those that were taken and lost their lives at these camps, I don’t believe this story is about them. As in every story, there are always two sides. You do not need to agree with them both, but to ignore them is to do the same thing the Germans did to the Jews. Not all Germans are monsters, just as not all Jews are bad. For me, it is Gretel’s final decision to act with brutality to solve a problem that doesn’t make her a saviour but that allows her to accept she is her father’s child.

book-review, books, Family Drama, Middle Eastern, read around the world, reading

A woman is no man

A woman is no man by Etaf Rum

Regardless of what religion or nationality, there is a universal truth – women are victims of violence.

In too many cultures women are not valued for anything other than to cook, clean and procreate. This is true in middle-eastern, eastern and western civilizations. These is no corner of this earth that has not been dominated by men, and women are taught on some level of consciousness that they are inferior. There are cultures that adhere more to this belief, and enforce this rigorously. The number of women that are being beaten each day into submission is staggering. The fact that is it accepted as normal and supported by other women is a sad truth to how far the lessons of low worth are ingrained to the communities. This remains true, regardless of the work women have been making in the last century. Books like The Pearl That Broke its Shell, Big Little Lies, Girl on the Train, Black and Blue, and so many more continue to tell these tales. These books cover the world (Afghanistan, Australia, England, and United Stated) and are only a small sample of a much broader and enduring problem. Etaf Rum’s A Woman Is No Man is the story of a Palestinian woman’s life in these circumstances.

In Palestine, an Arab girl named Isra is brought up in her mother’s kitchen, learning to cook and clean. At 17 she is married to a man she meets once and is take to America – Brooklyn – to be his wife. With no money, no connections, and not able to leave the house unaccompanied, Isra works to ensure she does not besmirch her family’s name by doing what is expected.

As the story unfolds, it alternates between Isra’s voice and her daughter Deya’s 18 years later. Deya is about to graduate high school and her grandmother, who is raising her after her parents die in a car accident, is insisting she make a match so she will not continue to be a burden to the family, as girls always are.  Deya receives a letter with a card to contact a familiar figure that she can’t place. As Deya’s quest to find answers brings more questions, we are all faced with the limitations of what we set on ourselves as options.

As the story progresses, we learn of Isra’s fading hopes for love and connection and of the growing violence against her by her husband, of her growing despair and depression, and of her mother in law’s insistence that bruises be covered from other’s eyes. We also learn of Deya’s memories of her mother’s sadness and of her fears that not all was right, of Deya’s fear of being pushed into marriage and inability to continue to learn.

We learn that Deya doesn’t share her memories with her younger sisters to save them from pain. We also learn of other secrets that are kept that are meant to reduce other’s perceived pain.  We learn of choices made in the hope of saving face, in the hope of protecting others, in the hope of convincing yourself, in the hope of being loved.

In the end, we are all exposed for doing these things. Are we complicit if we don’t act against it? How often are we afraid that our actions will make things worse? Or that we are overreacting to something that was not as it seemed.  Etaf Rum has pulled the curtains back on what is largely unspoken inside and outside the Palestinian culture – in the US and abroad. The courage to write of this taboo topic and shameful reality of too many from every background reminds us that by not finding our own voice, question our choices, and think through consequences, the result will perpetuate the pain for others. We must not be complicit in allowing this to continue. We must find the strength to break the cycle of violence. 

book-review, books, literature, reading

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver

Barbara Kingsolver is an author that has proven again and again that she understands the way the world works, with all its ugliness and beauty. With this novel, she yet again proves her superior abilities in story telling. A retelling of Dicken’s David Copperfield in the early 2000s in rural Appalachia, this novel shines its light on the same institutionalized poverty that Dicken’s railed against in Victorian times.

This story introduces you to Damon, known as Demon Copperhead because of his bright red hair. Demon was born to an addicted teen mother that had witnessed the death of his father 3 months before he was born in a trailer in the mountains of Virginia. With every turn Demon faces more odds against him – an addicted mom, an abusive step-father, a dead father, and more with each month. As you follow the path that Demon follows, you see obstacles thrown in his way each time he tries to make things better. Hanging over everyone he knows in Lee County VA is the ever-present need for a fix to take away pain – physical and emotional. We find that, in truth and in fiction, this is because drug companies have identified the largest population on medi=care that requests pain medications to sell aggressively and deceptively to. The people that have already been harmed by the mining industry are then preyed upon by drug companies. While the drugs are a problem, as Demon’s friend from foster care, Tommy points out, this has been a war on people that are different. The Hillbilly jokes keep putting down those that can and do survive by growing, hunting and sharing to fill needs of hungry bellies. 

It is through Demon’s grit and resilience, and ability to make do with what he has and not hope for more, that he is able to survive his trials. Along the way you meet people that don’t care, that care only about themselves, and those that cared but are too jaded with the inability to change things. You also meet the most unlikely people that go out of their way to try to ease someone else’s load or try to help them find their way.  You realize that while there is dark in the world we live in, there is also some light in it.

Near the end you are rooting for some happiness to find him, and you are never sure. You care deeply for him by the time you turn that last page.  And you hope that the ride he is on is a positive one.

book-review, books, Family Drama, literature, reading

The World Played Chess

by Robert Dugoni

This is a complex, intertwining story told by two men in three time periods. We start in 2016 when Vincent, a successful lawyer, receives a journal from an old friend he hadn’t heard from in years.  The author of the journal was William – someone that Vinny met when he was 18 in the summer of 1979. William, 12 years older than Vinny, had made a strong impression on him, and while he never spoke of the friend, this relationship helped shape the way Vinny approached life. William’s journal was written when he was an 18-year-old going off to Vietnam in 1967. Vinny had been a witness to William’s PTSD that summer, when he couldn’t fathom how difficult choices in life can be and how they change your course forever.

In 1979 Vinny just graduated as valedictorian, was accepted into Stanford, but his family was unable to pay the tuition and he is devastated. Instead, he is headed to community college. As he parties with his friends that summer before school, he takes a job in construction. There he meets William, a Vietnam vet twelve years older than he is. Over the course of the summer William tells stories of what he lived through as his life unravels.

As Vinny reads the journal in 2016, one entry each day, he is also preparing for his son Beau to graduate high school and go off into the world.  Disappointments and frustration are all there, as Beau tries to become independent and make his own decisions. After a tragedy Vinny watches as Beau struggles with the fragility of life. He is seeing personally that growing old is a privilege, not a right. Through Vinny’s eyes we see the pain of watching youth stolen from both William and Beau at the same point of life. You are reminded that the moments in between are all about shaping who you are. You need to accept your abilities, and make choices for yourself and your family, with the knowledge that all choices have consequences that you must live with. You also learn to put things in perspective – like being able to go to community college is better than not being able to go to college at all.

Everyone’s demons are different, but in the end, the role that Vinny place for both William and Beau is someone that has enough empathy to listen. That allows both men to face the hard parts of life, and be able to move forward to being a better person because of their past, not despite it. In 1979 most didn’t want to listen to those that saw horrors in Vietnam, and in 2016 most don’t want to acknowledge the dark possibilities in life.

This story was so well written that it was not hard to jump between the timelines. The interweaving of the stories is what makes it just so poignant – even though each man had different things happening in their lives at 18, the hope for the future and the realization of what that really means is difficult. As I watch my own son at 18, this has given me another layer of understanding to what it is he is grappling with. I wholeheartedly recommend reading this. 

African Experience, book-review, books, literature, read around the world, reading

Seven Moons of Maali Almeida

by Shehan Karunatilaka

Maali Almedia introduces himself with what should be on his business card:  Photographer, Gambler, Slut. He awakes to find himself in what seems to be a government office. He isn’t sure he if he is dreaming or awake because of the “silly pills” he had taken the night before. He slowly comes to realize that he is dead – murdered. Around him are lines and chaos as people try to figure out where they are and what comes next. He is faced with a dead political activist, who is to help him prepare to go “into the light” after having seven moons (days) to come to grips with this and prepare himself. He is also pursued by a slain member of the JVP (communist Janatha Vimukthi Peramuna’s group) that is seeking to gather an army to exact revenge on those that killed them and thousands of innocents.

Through eavesdropping and memory, we learn of Maali’s history, of the country’s history, and the history of people he knew. He roams through the rooms where his friends and his enemies are looking to find him. Along the way he also meets some that he photographed when they were dead.  We learn of the atrocities he witnessed and documented. He decides it is time to show the reality of what he has seen now that he is dead. To do this, Maali makes pacts with The Crow Man, a medium, to give information to Jaki, his best friend, to find his photos. You also meet DD, Jaki’s brother and Maali’s lover, and their father, a minister in the government. Other players are leaders of waring factions across the spectrum: Army, Tamil, LTTE, arms dealers from Israel, CIA and CNTRE from Canada and Europe. Everyone has a hidden agenda, and if you get in someone’s way you end up dead. We follow those sent to get rid of the bodies, too.

In the end, Maali must come to a decision – what did his life stand for and how does he want to move forward. You need to read to the end to see if he goes to the light or not, and to discover what he finds his role is in this life. I can tell you, however, that people end up where they are supposed to be. 

Very well written. I was surprised how much this story captured me. Going back and forth from the in between and life, as well as to memory, worked seamlessly. You felt the confusion, and the despair, and the absurdity, as well as the relief when things are finished, even if they didn’t work out the way it was hoped. There is always time to do better. Not an easy story, but I am glad I read it.